[When that memory is brought straight to the surface instead of lingering in the dark place of his mind, Balthazar feels the pain as if it had happened yesterday. Somewhat dulled only by the fact that it isn't really happening, he still grits his teeth silently, his chest constricting. Everything is unnecessarily raw, his eyes beginning to sting as they water up, and Balthazar isn't very sure after all is said and done that this was a good idea.
But it's out there now. Someone else besides him knows. He supposes when he wakes up tomorrow with rational thought backing him, he'll feel better. Right now though, he doesn't dare say anything or even look at his brother again, unless he wants to look like even more of wreck. He's pliant and helpful when Gabriel gets him to stand up. He thanks everything that nothing spins.]
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But it's out there now. Someone else besides him knows. He supposes when he wakes up tomorrow with rational thought backing him, he'll feel better. Right now though, he doesn't dare say anything or even look at his brother again, unless he wants to look like even more of wreck. He's pliant and helpful when Gabriel gets him to stand up. He thanks everything that nothing spins.]